Learning About Stage Performance Part 1
I performed in public only a handful of times before 2008.
When I was 18 I did about 5 gigs with Stranger Station, from
Luton, before the drummer and I split from that band. Simon Driscoll the founder
member of Stranger Station took me on as the singer, even though I had no experience,
and had me gigging after 6 weeks.
It was a crash course in how to work in a band. Our first gig
was at the Wheatsheaf pub in Dunstable and I was made to go on even though I
was throwing up with nerves in the loo! I remember when the time came to sing,
I opened my mouth and hoped the vocals would work! I was disturbed to learn
that I was not automatically in tune and had an audience while I was trying
to work it all out.!!!!
Our second gig was probably just as awful - we played the Horn
of Plenty in St Albans. I had terrible nerves, especially after my previous
horrific experience. I remember just going for it even though I was aware that
I was out of tune and the band was not really working together. It was a musical
version of a rugby scrum. These first two gigs brought home to me the concept
of audience appreciation. I realized that there is an expectation from the audience
to be entertained and a personal expectation to give ones best, a very difficult
thing to grasp and get right, coming from nowhere. Richard Eames was the drummer
and jammed with Terry and I some years later in Radlett, and Stranger Station
survives today in a different form, still gigging! I am indebted to Simon Driscoll
for starting me off and throwing me in as he did!
Although we were songwriting for many years, Terry and I only
did two gigs, near the end of our musical association, around 1992. We had a
good band being joined by Richard Squires on the drums and Andy Foulds on guitar,
Andy Jolly played the bass. The first gig was at the Hop Pole in Aylesbury and
I learned from that not to drink any alcohol before performing. The last gig
we did was at Bumbles in Luton. I felt it was time to move on after that, and
left Luton.
With no band I decided to learn the guitar and have struggled
with it ever since. I learned enough to go busking and played around Exeter
and Nottingham, building the repertoire I have today and feeling confident playing
on the street or in the subway where few people actually stopped to listen.
In 2000, I performed a few songs on the Band Stand in the park
at Belper, Derbyshire, with songwriter Dan Lowe as part of National Music Day.
I enjoyed playing outdoors, but again had nerves as I had never got used to
singing to an audience.
So when I met Spon in 2005 I had many songs and was delighted
to start a recording project, which has produced two albums a few years later.
However, gaining experience at playing live has been neglected and I realized
at this point I would have to have another try at it, if only to promote the
albums, which have taken a lot of work from both of us.
So I have headed back to the stage again in 2008 to try to learn
again how to make it all work. My first attempt was at the Head Jam night at
the Hat Factory in Luton on 16th July. I was petrified, but was reassured that
I would receive support from Nemo, the guys running the night. Also the audience
was full of people just like me, there to get up and have a go. Participants
are allowed to perform three songs.
I have always been aware that my guitar playing is rough to
say the least, but I suppose that is my style ' pretty much self taught.
My first song was 'Himalaya', and I thought I did ok, it's
got a great vocal line and this is really my area. I knew I stumbled on guitar
a little, but this didn't matter while the vocal was working. I think
it was a good start. The second song was 'She's Gone', its
fast and lively, and a new way of performing it actually came from that night.
It seemed to go down well and I couldn't believe it!
I galloped into my third song, 'Amarylis', and that
was the one that let me down! I hadn't had time to practice and it seemed
that every time I hit a certain chord, my little finger would not obey! It really
put me off and I shortened it, limping to the end like a wounded animal. I was
so eager to get off the stage that I forgot to unplug the guitar and was stopped
dead by Char from Nemo, who jumped in front of me and said 'Stop'
before I damaged anything. So I learned my lesson, to practice like mad '
and maybe that could have been avoided. However, I thought I would go back and
try again.
The 24th September was a cold night, I arrived at the Head Jam
dressed against the chill, straight from work. I knew Spon was engineering the
sound that night and had his camera phone on him. The crowd was more lairy that
night too, but that didn't bother me as I practice with the radio talking
in the background to get used to distractions.
I was up on the stage almost straight away; I had been standing
around trying to gauge how hot it was in the club, I got on the stage wearing
my jumper. As I went into the first song, 'Sub Plane High Way',
I knew the jumper was a mistake ' it was HOT. I was feeling uncomfortable,
but got through the song ok. I went straight into 'Lately' and during
this song I felt my right leg quiver, this had happened before ' (years
before in Belper and during gigs with Stranger Station in London), so I shifted
my weight to the other leg, but to my dismay, this leg began to shake too. I
was trying to keep it all together, absolutely boiling, watching Spon out of
the corner of my eye gliding into view with his camera.
With hardly a pause I plunged into the last song, 'The
Awakening' and belted it out to its conclusion wondering if I was going
to collapse. I was really conscious of how big those thigh muscles are as they
shivered and shook and I shifted from one foot to the other! I left the stage
as quickly as possible, everything had been note and chord perfect, but I was
extremely unhappy, my confidence had really taken a knock.
Later we discussed the causes for the shaking and Spon gave
me the following advice-
Never get on stage in a jumper (unless it's obviously freezing)
Eat a light meal about an hour or so before (I hadn't eaten for the last
8 hours)
And sit down for fifteen minutes before going on (I ran over to the venue and
dashed on to the stage).
I took his advice and practiced hard, to return to the Head
Jam for my third attempt on 8th October. I had taken a singing lesson with Char
a couple of days before and my throat felt stretched, but not sore. I didn't
know how it was going to go. Spon had advised me to talk to the audience more,
so I introduced the songs and started with 'Plans that slip' attributing
the song to Terry Bartlett who had written it. It went fine, after a false start
to get the levels right, there was no shaking and I began to relax into it.
I followed this with 'Crossing over' a very personal passionate
song! Finally I warned the audience that I rarely get to the end of 'Diamonds
Don't Go' without a mistake, and sure enough there was a bum note
(where there had never been one before!) but it was quickly remedied. I reached
the end of the set really pleased that this experience had been so much better
than the last!
I was surprised when afterwards a fella stepped from the shadows
and I was re-acquainted with Richard Squires, the drummer from the band Terry
had put together nearly 20 years before. Now living in Bedford, he was there
with his band 'The Nimble Wits' to perform that night. We had lost
touch 16 years before. I watched his band play and was really impressed with
them. Craig is the singer songwriter and Genevieve is the bass player, and plays
violin also.
Over the next couple of weeks Richard invited me to play at
the Bedford pub, The Paddington at their open mike night. I took the train on
29th October, a night after it had snowed, and arrived at the station after
9pm. I swallowed back the emotion as I stepped from the train, as a painful
memory caught up with me associated with that place. I made a silent prayer
for a departed soul and walked down to the pub.
The Nimble Wits were practicing in a back room, so I sat up
at the bar to watch the night's entertainment unfold. I was struck by
the friendliness of the people, the energy of musicians who are full of joy
and life. I began to enjoy myself, losing my nervousness, as everyone was there
to have fun.
The open mike night at Bedford's Paddington Pub is more
informal that the Hat Factory in Luton. Because it is looser, there is more
opportunity for individuals to get up and jam, should the mood take them. I
particularly enjoyed the Jo Jackson cover, 'Is she really going out with
him?' played by Ray and Craig on bass - they whipped the song into a place
I have never heard it before. It was a spontaneous, dynamic explosion and I
realized that I really missed these fantastic outbursts from competent musicians
who are clearly enjoying themselves. There was room for everyone that night,
the Jimi Hendrix boy, the band called Inspiration, people doing covers, or home
penned pieces (even covers of others home penned pieces!) ' They even
had room for me.
By then I was in the spirit and wanted to give my best. It was
time to start and Craig leant me a guitar and put it through the desk. I was
introduced, and stepped up to the mike to start, just as I was hit by shyness
again! I broke into the first song and wondered at how quiet the vocals sounded.
I thought it strange, but carried on, right up on the mike. I performed 'Dancing
in the Shade' ' and thought it went ok, although I could hear the
guitar more than the vocals. I paused then went into 'Cut me down'.
A little into the song I realized that the bar chords were sliding out of place
and I was concentrating too hard on everything else to get them to sound right.
' I apologized to the audience then went on to hit a bum note, right in
the middle of the song ' it threw me so much, so I sat on it for another
bar and picked it up from there. After the song I did say to the audience that
they had probably worked out that I was not a guitarist, but a singer. So I
finished the set off with 'Fearless and Wild', which went well.
As I left the performance area, Matt Roberts, who puts these
nights on, asked me if I had written the songs. This question was really unexpected
and I didn't know how to answer in brief! I think I gave a really vague
reply! It would have been really long winded to explain that I had written the
first one, Terry the second one and we had co-written the third one as he had
started it and I had finished it! Spon later said I needed to be prepared for
questions such as this!!!!!
I was personally very disappointed with the performance, although
it was just the middle song, it spoilt the whole thing for me. I was really
upset because Richard had not heard 'Cut me Down' for so many years
' and I had spoilt it.
It also turned out that the mike was turned down so the vocals
really had been quiet, and the guitar was up, so it had been the worse possible
combination for me as usually the vocals take the audience's attention
off of my horrific guitar playing. When I was told about the sound balance I
realized that I must have sounded pretty terrible.
I reflected upon what I could learn from all this.
Firstly, for 'Cut me Down', I had not learned the
bar chords properly ' I had missed the problem on my acoustic. So now
I had a challenge to get this song into shape.
Secondly, I realized that Nemo, who run the Head Jam in Luton, are actually
the 'Guardians of the Sound Check'. They will not hesitate to turn
a knob up or down on an amp, or summon a sound technician if the levels are
wrong. At the Paddington it is the law of the jungle! I don't know what
the levels are or how the desk works. I realized that when I go there again
I will have to ask the audience for feedback on the levels and hope that someone
will adjust the desk for me! I really think the best way round it is to ask
' it wouldn't have saved me from making the bum note, but I may
have got off lighter with the crappy bar chords!
So I felt that the bum guitar chords made my set a disaster,
and not asking for a sound check was a mistake ' This was my worst try
yet, but oh boy, did I learn a lot!
Putting the disappointment aside, I really enjoyed the hospitality
of my new found friends. Everyone who played there or was around the bar seemed
like great people and it gladdens my heart to see a thriving community of musicians.
I feel I can return to the Paddington and practice at playing to an audience
again. I have a taste for it now, even when I feel humiliated at my weaknesses,
I want to go back. I think it is because I love singing, that's the bottom
line and I will plod away on the guitar to keep my love alive, and I am learning
all the time.
ELLA JO October 2008
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